The Sock Drawer

I have been frustrated for sometime by my large and chaotic assortment of socks.  I am a collector of sorts and love colorful socks.  I have had all sorts of socks spilling out of two drawers in my small house and it has been a little crazy.  Yesterday I took on my sock drawers.  I emptied out both drawers, matched every sock that I could, found some strays and some that were too old to mend one more time and quite a few that could be donated to the Lydia Place thrift store, Wise Buys.  I decided that old and orphans could be donated to our Ragfinery store that accepts all sorts of fabrics and used clothing for recycling.  Some clever up-cycler with more patience and time than I have may find something fun to do with those socks.

I sorted into two drawers - one for warmer and hand-knot socks.  See the teal blue and the gray blue socks in the photo below.  Yes, I knit them and love them.  One drawer is for my lighter weight socks.  It will be so easy for me to maintain this system when I wash and put socks away.  I also made space for the socks I love and let go of those that I had outgrown.  I gave away every pair of knee socks except for two pairs of support hose I use when I travel.

The warmer and hand knit drawer

The lighter weight drawer

This simple little exercise was not as easy at it may seem.  I was inspired by my friend Carrie Koehnline who teaches about clutter and I had to be in the right space.  One of the pairs of socks I came across was a pair of Kate's that I have hung onto for 13 years.  It is a coordinating pair (one red and one blue) of bowling cows.  I looked them over and wondered if I could give them away.  I showed them to Mike who came in and out of our room during the sock drawer project.  We agreed they should stay in my collection.  It was a good decision.  I decided to wash them and get them really clean and smelling fresh before putting them in their new space in the lighter weight sock drawer.  It is amazing how something as simple as socks can stimulate so much thought and review of one's life.

I now wonder what else I can sort?  Today I got up and put some energy into putting away my summer clothes and preparing for fall and winter wear.  Actually this was after I got home from visiting my dermatologist and having some pre-cancerous lesions frozen.  I needed something concrete to focus my mind on.  I have been quite worried, not knowing what was up with a recently appeared spot on my sternum.  Mortality is something we are reminded of with regularity as we age and as we pay attention to the affairs of the world.  It is something I have to sort through more often than not these days.  I do not take my life for granted but I can lose my sense of balance when I worry to much about the what ifs.  Sorting socks and clothes for the seasons has helped restore my balance as has the beautiful fall weather. 

I end this post with a gratitude for this blog and for friends who are wiser than I am when I need some help out of a fog of worry and concern about my mortality and those I love both by knowing them or because we are all part of the family of life.

I visited the cemetery over the weekend and cleaned Kate's memorial and added some leaves to remember her by.  Balancing my living and the memory of my daughter.

Autumn blessings and thanks for reading.

A New Start

I have been feeling quite lost since my sabbatical blog ended.  It was a rich experience and I thoroughly enjoyed writing for more than myself.  I have been inspired to journal again using paper and pen.  I also decided to continue the process in the blogosphere.

So here I begin.  A Delicate Balance will focus on my journey through what I know is the last third (or less) of my life.  I am getting many signs these days that I need to practice the delicate balance between living and letting go.  Yesterday my minister spoke to Life and Death and All the in Between.  Paul said that two things are for sure. We all live and we all die.  Each day can be a full day but needs to be lived in the knowing that our time is limited.  A question I would like to open the day with is "what does day offer me and what can I do to be fully present in the day?"

I wanted to begin with a picture I took last week while visiting Western Washington University, my alma mater.

Stone Enclosure, Rock Rings. Nancy Holt artist, 1977-78.

I have never taken the time before to explore this structure.  Ironically it was built the year I gave birth to Kate and became a mother.  I was in graduate school at Western at the time.  As I wandered through the stones and took the pictures showing the different viewpoints, I marveled at all the intricate stones how they are connected and support each other.  The variety of sizes and shapes that make the beautiful piece are like the experiences in our own lives.  We have many small and large experiences, feelings, dreams, disappointments, thoughts, connections that make our lives what they are.  I think one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is the courage to look at our whole lives in context and to acknowledge all that keeps us in balance.  What I love about the picture and the reality of my life is that I have dark and light places and the interaction between them and the interdependence is what gives me strength and balance.

Happy International Day of Peace!  Next year I think part of my balance will be making intentions to honor this amazing day.

Thanks for reading.